Lately, I've been missing library life. Not the terrible hours, screaming children, tiger moms, or those kids that pee on the carpet and somehow, as the only children's librarian without children, I ended up being the one to clean it up. Nope, don't miss that at all.
I miss walking through the stacks and finding books at random to read. I always have a to-read list going, but there is something really special about the right book just finding you. I've missed that. Yes, I have a library (although it makes me kinda sad-poor selection, poorly organized, dark, dingy, dungeon-like), but there's nothing like being in the stacks on a totally different errand and coming across a book that you think "huh, I kinda wanna read that" and then it's amazing!
I miss the stacks. I miss the way you can feel totally alone and hidden when working in the stacks before the library opens. Sometimes, even if someone called for me, I'd pretend that I didn't hear and just keep straightening my books. (Yes, I compulsively straightened my collection, even though it was an act of futility. My first library was crazy about straightening and it just stuck. It was self soothing. And yes, I'm seeing a therapist for my compulsive library issues). I was in my own little world, just me and my books.
Here's my problem. I like people, but I love books! I was never that library czar that got really angry when a book was ruined since I've ruined my own fair share. If a kid ruins a book, then it's kinda like a Christmas tree, it's lived it's life and served it's purpose. As long as I can get a book in a kid's hand, it's a win. But I've long felt that my dream job would be a children's library without the children. Without the parents and the public. Just a little archival hole somewhere, like solitary with a full book shelf. I'd start to miss people and human interaction I'm sure, but it's Tuesday, and I've been yelled at a lot already this week, so let my have my dream!
My hubby is building a library in our basement. No joke. Well, it's a combination library and bar, but since we're 30 it will be more about good wine and good beer than keg stands and shots (although you know I like a good shot!). It will be about relaxing with the good stuff. And he's so sweet because my kids books get to share space with his engineering texts and non-fiction and Pulitzer Prize winners. He's even going to let me shelve my Twilights down there! That's love people!
Maybe someday soon I'll get be straightening the shelves of my own personal library (yes that will happen) and I'll happen upon a book I'd forgotten and think "huh, I kinda wanna read that". Maybe I'll get that feeling back. Until then, I'll have to settle for my to-read list and curling up at the end of the day with a book that I planned on reading and forgetting the world exists.